The timing depends on the particular amends. I can say this now because my sponsor helped me to see it. We spent a lot of time together looking at my eighth step list and developing a plan for making each of the amends. I am really glad we did this.
Karen V

I wanted to rush out and start making amends even before I had done any of the steps. I felt an enormous need to try and repair at least some of the incredible damage I had done. Fortunately I had done one thing right and gotten a sponsor almost as soon as I started going to meetings. He told me to restrain myself; I could not rush into the amends process. First of all, no one was going to believe anything I said, least of all my heartfelt apologies, until I had established some credibility. By working through the steps with my sponsor I was ready and armed with a good plan when I started trying to make amends. The process, though not all smiles and roses, has been amazing.
Dan T

Making amends is a two step process. Once I know who I owe an amend to, have figured out what I am going to do to make that amend and have become fully willing to go through with this process (Step 8), timing often takes care of itself. It’s amazing, people who I never thought I’d see again would pop up right there, at the grocery store, at a concert, even at a car dealership. They would show up right when I was ready to make my amends. Willingness seems to make these things happen.
Bill S

Wonderful question! We list it here under the 9th Step because, although there are promises linked to each of the twelve steps, the most well known list of promises appears in the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) during the discussion of the 9th Step. The promises are very real. This question opens up a topic so important that we have decided to give it its own forum. Click here to go to the Promises Page.

I had this exact problem. My sponsor told me to leave these ones be and start on the ones I knew I could do. Much to my surprise some of the people I thought I could never find appeared out of nowhere and I was able to make my amends. At the end there was still one important amend that I needed to make to someone whose name I couldn’t remember and who I hadn’t seen in 20 years. I looked up some old friends, some of whom I hadn’t talked to for that same 20 years, and, with their help, identified and located someone who probably was the person to whom I owed the amend. I sent a letter with a check for the money I owed, plus interest, and, sure enough, got a letter back about a month later. It was the right person! And the check, which appeared to come out of the blue, had arrived just as the money was badly needed. How’s that for help from a higher power?
Chris H

I had a couple of people who I felt I really owed a sincere apology but, largely because I was so wasted all the time, I couldn’t remember their names. My sponsor told me to write each of them a letter and be ready to send it if the names ever came to me. I wrote the letters and even though I never mailed either of them, the weight of these wrongs was lifted and I felt I had truly completed step nine.
Robert P

Well, you can, actually. Over the course of many years I had steadily embezzled what eventually amounted to a considerable sum of money from my boss, the owner of a small business. I stole little bits here and there in many different ways. Now that I was sober I felt bad about all this and wanted to make amends, but my kindly employer of many years had passed away and the business no longer existed. My sponsor asked me if I new any charities that my old boss had supported and sure enough, I did. So every year around Christmas I send $200 to my old boss’ favorite charity. For me, this has been a wonderful way to make amends.
Gifford D

With regard to Step 9, it was important for me to fully understand that the purpose behind this step was to clean up my side of the street, to clear my conscience. It was explained to me that there may be people who would not be willing to accept my amends and that I should not allow a rejection to discourage my efforts. My job was to admit my part and to take responsibility for making things right to the best of my ability. If someone is unwilling to accept my amends, then that is their business, not mine. Having made the effort, I will know that I had done my part to make things right, therefore allowing me to have a clear conscience.
Geraldine H