I’m afraid you’re getting the cart before the horse here. The Eighth Step doesn’t involve any one but me. I make a list of all those I had harmed and become willing in my heart to make amends to them all. This, in and of itself, was, for me, a very rewarding activity. I was completely amazed at what became possible once I was willing.
Chris H

When I first showed my sponsor my Step 8 list he asked, “Is that all? It seems pretty short.” I said well, there’s no way I can make amend to some people so I didn’t even bother putting them on the list. He explained that that’s not the way this step works. I had to put everybody on the list, no matter how impossible an amends might seem. I did and you know, with his help I have made every single amends on that list. Wow!
Tim K

“While the purpose of making restitution to others is extremely important, it is equally necessary that we take away from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. Calm, thoughtful reflection upon personal relations can deepen our insight. We can go far beyond those things which were superficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives. Thoroughness, we have found, will pay—and pay handsomely.”
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (p.80)

My sponsor looked at my list and said “Is this all? After what you told me in your 5th step this list seems pretty short.” I had to admit he was right. There were things I didn’t want to write down because if people found out about them I might get arrested. How can I make amends in handcuffs? Other people I hurt were already dead, so why put them on the list? And some of the things I did were just too huge to ever make up for, so why waste my time trying to make amends for them? My sponsor said that in this step we make the list and become willing, it’s in the next step that we decide if and when we are actually going to do anything. If I didn’t become willing in my heart to try and repair the damage with everyone I hurt, I was going to carry that around forever and that guilt could very well get me to drink again. All I can say is this worked. I do not live with the huge burden of guilt I carried around for so many years.
Fred S.