Help! I have been sober for 30 days and I am going nuts. What can I do?

The first thing to do is relax and understand that this is normal, it has happened to almost all of us. The 30 day anxiety, restlessness and general insanity is sometimes considered a symptom of post acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS). Most of us trying to quite using alcohol or drugs experience these symptoms. It wouldn’t surprise me if people trying to kick behavior addictions ran into the same thing. When the insanity hits it is time to start using the tools you have learned in meetings and from your sponsor. Think, think, think before you act. Pray. Share in meetings. Call your sponsor. Get involved – do some service work or work with someone less fortunate than you. And remember, all of us who are sober went through this, you can get through it too.

Follow this link to an in depth discussion of PAWS.

The 30 day craziness (or 60 day, or 1, 2, 3, etc. year), yes, many people have had it, and most of those actually lived through it, it is possible!

I drank because I'm an alcoholic, and I allowed the "obsession" of my mind to drive my behaviors and actions to try to repeat past successes. The subtle and cunning thing is that not all of my behaviors landed me in problems. The success of finding a cool restaurant or a good barbershop did only positive things in my life. The "success" of the ease and comfort of having a bunch of drinks worked to change my feelings about the world - being restless, irritable and discontent, but since my body is different (I'm an alcoholic) eventually this "success" turned out to be a horrible curse. Regardless of the terrible consequences this "success" brought down on me, when I felt less than right, not quite okay, all I could remember was that ease and comfort, and I certainly remembered it when I started feeling pretty crazy at 30 days.

A psychiatrist explained my nervousness and restless feelings and racing thoughts in early sobriety this way: the human brain stores memories and thoughts or ideas in pathways of neurons, not single locations like a computer. The damage I had done through years of drinking and drugging had burned or destroyed some of those pathways - I knew I had learned particular facts but couldn't "find" them. In early sobriety, my brain, now free from the constant pounding that alcohol had been giving it, was working diligently at restoring connections and finding new pathways for thought and memory. He told me that it would be entirely possible that one day I would suddenly recall the taste of birthday cake and the feel of my 7th birthday. Aside from silly predictions about "what thoughts mean", he said that this was nothing more than evidence of healing, my brain had finally found a way to access that pathway. So the racing thoughts, the every-channel-on-TV turned on and tossed into a blender, was just my brain trying to sort out and make sense of how all that information should be organized. Relax and enjoy the bizarre show, it will change.

Another idea to keep in mind is the effects of bodily healing. I spent so long living at 0.15 BAC that all the minor aches and pains of normal living were completely numb. For a good five/six weeks in early sobriety I felt sore all the time, as though I had been beaten up with a big stick. This is admittedly very unpleasant (aspirin or some other over-the-counter pain medication will help) but again this is simply evidence of healing and it will fade away soon.

A sober life is a life that is really worth living. Try to keep in mind that whatever may be disturbing at the moment will pass, go to meetings, talk to another recovering person, call a sponsor, and pray. Some folks talk about a "spiritual aspect" of the recovery program. From my point of view this is a pretty narrow focus, the Higher Power of my understanding always seeks me and always seeks my good, in every situation. There are times when I may not think this is really true, but then I'm an alcoholic and have always believed that my thoughts were right and the best thing for me. Until I have developed a better habit of thinking, which is only possible through the actions outlined in the steps, my best course is to not believe my thoughts are some brilliant revelation, and just do the next right thing in front of me. Enjoy the moments when life is okay, hold on through the moments that seem terrible, and turn your mind to looking for the light and love that is all around us every moment. Congratulations on your emerging sanity and sobriety, try to share what you see and feel and take notice of all the other folks along the road of happy destiny.
Jim H.

4 years ago I was an alcoholic. I was desperate nobody would help me. My family was sick and fed up with me. I used to get palpitations and I drank to remove them. Now I know these occurred due to the drinking. If you have to go out, drink a non-alcoholic drink, that’s what I did. I can say I haven’t had a drink in 4 years (not even one) because I think to myself if I have one it will lead to many others. I now enjoy life, despite having arthritis, all of my family are really proud of my achievement, if you care about your family, show yourself and your family you can also do it . Instead of drinking at home or going to pub do something else instead to keep your mind of it, go to the gym, swim ,walk the dog etc. I’m really proud to tell anyone I don’t drink. I hope you give it a try. Go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps. You will feel, look, and act better.
Janice M